We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
tell me about the eggs
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
