R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
