Plan B is the new Plan A
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Randomize
