erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
