VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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