What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
