dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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