listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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