im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
