Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
