hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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