I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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