Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
