Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
