I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
