watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
tell me about the fingering
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