new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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