Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
