to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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