Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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