There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
