So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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