Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
