Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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