Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize