Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
