ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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