Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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