He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
