singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
