ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
