Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
