nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize