did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
