so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
