Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
