Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
