Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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