Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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