if you like me you must not know who I am
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
