You just made me feel so damn special
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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