Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
