I can tuck mytits in my pants
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
