how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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