How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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