dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
