I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize