so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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