honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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