bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
