Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is wine microwaveable?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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