Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
