Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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