my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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