Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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