Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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