is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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