Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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