with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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