I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize